I've spent a few posts talking about my general angst and or anxieties about the recent turn my life has taken, but it's occurred to me that I haven't really provided any real justification for my decision to accept KSU's offer. So here goes:
As you might guess, choosing my future and taking decisive action have never been my strengths. I always worry about the consequences of my decisions, and before I know it, my opportunities have passed me by. I spent my entire college career waiting to discover my passion, but I eventually selected English because I just didn't know what else to do.
Don't get me wrong- I enjoy English. I'm a good writer, and I enjoy reading and interpreting well-written texts, so while I was comfortable, I didn't love it. For some reason, the books I read on my own were hundreds of times more amazing and engaging to me than my required reading. While my peers devoured James Joyce and Poe and talked about them with adoration, I wondered if there was more to English.
Whenever possible, I avoided the classics. Instead of reading romantic authors or post-modern novels, I took classes focusing on mythology or cultural issues- (in my case, Arthurian myths in Medieval Literature, or the works of Native American author, Louise Erdrich in a variety of Native American Literature classes). All the while, I supplemented this required reading with a large assortment of books for children.
On a whim, I enrolled in a class for early childhood education majors focused on Children's Literature, and I discovered the passion I had been missing. Never before in my undergraduate career had I been so focused, so engaged and so in love with a subject. I attended every class, sat in the front row, and took notes like a fiend, and even did extra readings to supplement and broaden my understanding of the topic. And yes, I read the entire textbook, a feat I have never achieved before or after the class.
The class had a reputation for its high level of difficulty, so I put in extra hours studying and remembering authors, terms, whatever, just to get an edge.
Studying a genre I loved so intensely literally revolutionized my study habits, but it also had another, more important impact on my life: it gave me a goal and a future to work toward. I had always loved children's literature- I had discovered this love when I began working in the Children's Department of my local library, but taking the class made me realize that there were opportunities there, too. I had simply assumed that children's literature/young adult literature was something to be read for enjoyment. I never realized that people studied it, taught it, analyzed it, but once I did, I had a better idea of the field I needed to be in.
As a result of its combined financial aid options, available TA positions, and specialization in Children's Literature, KSU became my top choice. And while I'm terrified about what the future holds, the prospect of studying and learning more about something I love so intensely......well, it makes me excited, too!
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